


shooting stars never fly for me

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: dimension 20 [24]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 05: A Crown of Candy, Child Abandonment, Future Tense, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Religion, Wishful Thinking, generally. pretty sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24923239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: Saccharina prays.
Relationships: Saccharina Frostwhip & The Rocks Family
Series: dimension 20 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706107
Comments: 25
Kudos: 55





	shooting stars never fly for me

**Author's Note:**

> title is from shakka's when will i see you again

Saccharina will meet her father and he will hug her. His hug will be big and warm and he will hold her tightly. He’ll know who she is without her having to say a word, and he’ll cry. He’ll tell her how sorry he was to not have her in his life, how much he regretted leaving her alone.

He’ll take her hand and show her the castle. He’ll say, _welcome home_ and _I’ve never stopped loving you_ and _is that_ magic _?_ But he’ll say those last words with wonder and pride instead of fear and scorn, and she will smile and laugh self-consciously, but she’ll hold out her hands and call a storm into them.

She will feel her magic like lightning on her fingertips and it will be vast and powerful and trapped on the pinhead of her finger, and she will see pride shining in his eyes.

She will be named _heir_ named _princess_ named _family_. Her place in his- their- family will be so enshrined he wouldn’t be able to abandon her even if he wanted to. And he would never want to.

And after, she will meet her sisters. They’ll be quick and smart and look up to her the way that younger siblings look up to their older siblings. Saccharina will take their hands and guide them in magic- guidance she never got- and she will do it happily. Her little sisters will poke and prod her to teach them even when she’s busy and tired and not in the mood, and Saccharina will never get mad, because they’re her _sisters_ , and she’ll sigh and bring the magic forth and smile at their wonder.

She’ll have a mother who is a queen; who looks at her with interest and then pride and then love; and she will teach Saccharina how to be a Queen. She will show her how to wield words like weapons the way that royalty does, and she will study with her in the library to know all of the things that come with a royal education, and Saccharina will speak with royal grace and fluidity in a way that marks her as _one of them_ , and it will be- it will be _wonderful_. 

There will be boring lessons to slog through and bodyguards to hide from, and a castle full of holes and shadows to hide from teachers and bodyguards within; and there will be a great forest all her own to explore; and Saccharina will be with people who see her and know her and love her; she will have a _family_ , and everything will be perfect. Will have been worth it.

The sound of bells makes her open her eyes.

Her folded knees ache, but she doesn’t stand up. 

She is praying in the church. She is not praying to the Bulb. She’s been praying for hours, now, at the direction of the Abbess, and if the Abbess knew what she was doing, she’d probably lock her in the church again. 

Saccharina is old enough to know that lying won’t damn her to the Hungry One, however. Or- if it will, she’s done enough simply by existing to be damned anyway, so it doesn’t really matter if she kneels and prays to something else in a church. Either way, the Abbess will never know. 

She doesn’t know if Aunt Lazuli- _her_ Aunt Lazuli, whose portrait she will one day stare up at in the halls of Castle Candy, her home, _one day_ \- can hear her prayers, but surely dreams and prayers aren’t all that different? 

It’s been a while since Lazuli sent her a dream. In fact, it’s the longest she’s gone without a vision from her since before Saccharina got the dreams at all. 

But Aunt Lazuli wouldn’t leave her- _why are you so sure, you’re so unlovable your own mother left you, your father found a better daughter and a spare on top of that_ \- she knows that. Lazuli is just- busy. Bringing magic back to the world isn’t easy, after all.

The thought doesn’t bring her the comfort she wishes from it, as she rises from the floor, but then, neither did the prayers.

**Author's Note:**

> i love. her

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [as we forgive those who trespass against us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022116) by [Silver_Saturn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Saturn/pseuds/Silver_Saturn)




End file.
